Our paper, like many smaller ones do, publishes items from the police logs. They vary from small stuff like burglaries to funny items about the crazy stuff that people do in our area. (I've written about this before).
It also includes a list of all the felony bookings and the names of people arrested for DUI. I get the occasional caller who wants us to hold their name from the list. So I give them my spiel about how it's our policy to name all offenders and, in the interest of fairness, we can't make exceptions.
But I've never had anyone ask why they weren't listed. Until today.
This guy called today to tell me he called police four times between last Thursday to Saturday, and nothing he reported made the paper. He told me he was "robbed" of $400 (It turns out his wife had $400 and she wouldn't give him $200). Then he said a well contractor overcharged him. Finally he got in a fight with his wife about how he was going to report the incident with the well contractor and ended up arrested on spousal abuse charges.
In my best fake professional voice while holding back laughter, I explained to him that we don't publish domestic or civil abuse reports from the police logs in our paper. And his arrest didn't make it because it was a misdemeanor (Guess he'll have to make it a felony next time). I couldn't help but ask why he wanted this stuff published.
He replied, "Because I want to scare my wife under the bed."
Lesson learned: Passive aggression knows no bounds.
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