Yesterday at work, I came across an article in the Modesto Bee about a Web site for the Dull Men's Club. This bland grey page is dedicated solely to men who drive under the speed limit, like to watch paint dry and have a certain obsession with cataloguing completely irrelevant facts, such as the number of airport baggage carousels that go clockwise versus counterclockwise. One the site, dull men around the world can add a comment about how to fully take advantage of this insipid lifestyle. If you check it out, read the "a dull man's way of enjoying his new Jag" or the one about liking to download large files on ridiculously slow servers so he can see the status bar creep across the screen.
This seriously cracks me up.
I've always liked a little spice in my men, but this got me thinking that maybe I should change my tactics. There are certain advantages to dull men. You — directed at all my female peers — certainly wouldn't have to worry about a dull man cheating on you. (An affair would be way to stressful for a dull man). Their aversion to conflict would mean that you could always be right. (Women like to always be right). And you'd really never have to agonize over what is going on in his head, because the answer would likely be nothing much. Don't worry, you too would eventually start seeing the fun in watching batteries charge or reading statistics about roundabouts.
So for anyone who thinks these advantages are worth it, this Web site could double as an online dating tool. Have at it ladies.
Lesson learned: Since my friend Sarah has taken to call me an extreme dater — meaning I like my men extreme — something tells me dull men wouldn't work for me, despite the many problems it would solve.
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