Monday, August 14, 2006

Eating at the adult table

I know I'm getting older when the parties I go to start to have kids at them. Last night I went to a barbecue with some friends from church. I was older than all but one of the women there, yet all but one had a toddler and a baby (if just on the way). All except Jenn of course, though Jenn is married.

So I'm sitting on the couch with one of the moms on one side of me as she feeds a baby, and Jenn on the other. The toddlers are running around the living room screaming, and Jenn looks up at them and says, "I feel like I forgot something," referring to the kids. The other girl goes, "Well you brought your husband." Then she looks at me and goes, "Where is your husband?" like this imaginative guy is a black lab or a set of keys. I reply, "I don't have a husband — not even close."

She says sympathetically: "Well don't worry, it can happen very quickly."

I suddenly felt like I was in the Sex and the City episode where Carrie writes about how married people seem to pity those of us who are not settled in marital bliss as well. I guess I never thought of being single as a thing to escape. Yes, I would like to get married someday when I find the right guy, but I don't want to get married simply to haves someone to bring to a barbecue. I don't view marriage as something you can go out and pick up like fast food. Honestly, I doubt she meant it how it sounded, but it was funny to catch a glimpse of her perspective.

Jenn's husband, Paul, said I should have told the girl that my husband was in jail. Darn, I just don't think that fast.

Lesson Learned: There are perks to being single and without children: I didn't have to sit at the kids' table and try to prevent a kid from eating a hot dog whole.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Better still -- you could have told her you were gay!
Yes, all too often people define themselves and others based on who they're with, what they do, how much money they make, and miss the important things, like honesty, commitment to friends and family, integrity, moral values, willingness to give and care. You are a smart, beautiful, strong, independent young woman and any man in your life would be icing on an already perfect cake!